I've been having a lot of trouble sleeping. My anxiety is crazy and I can't stop thinking about how close I am to being done. I just keep thinking about the things I could do when I'm finally better.
I can't wait to start yoga and build up strength so I can get back to working out. I had just started when I was diagnosed. I thought the back pain I had been feeling was in part caused by running on an elliptical. It probably had put a lot of extra stress on my L3 and could have helped cause the fracture.
I know the process might take longer than I'd like but I'm excited to feel like myself again. My biggest fear at this point is that people will have unrealistic expectations about my recovery. I'm afraid I'll be expected to magically be normal again after treatment but truth is I will never be "normal" again. I'll most likely have side effects from the chemo for years to come. I've heard stories from many people in my support group about how even 3, 5, 10 years after treatment they still have symptoms. My body is weak and tired and it's going to take a lot of work to get it back to a "normal" place.
Peace. Love. Fuck cancer
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